Take two. I completely forgot to take a photo yesterday. I worked from home and then Steve and I became ridiculously engrossed in our Netflix arrival of Season 1 Disc 1&2 of the TV show Heroes. Like up till 2 am ridiculously engrossed. Such a fabulous show- and really I needed that with the advent of all these hideously disgusting "reality" TV shows.
Suffice it to say, I have to begin all over again. Joanna said "Oh stop it! You can pretend you took a photo yesterday!" No. No I cannot. That would be cheating myself and the list. So today begins again 2. Take a Photograph Every Day For a Year.
I find it necessary to explain to you how hard this task is. There really is not much to take photos of every day. So I apologize in advance if the photos are not up to your viewing standards.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
7. Research Different Religions. Choose One to Believe In Whole-heart-edly.
It is no surprise to those who know me that I do not believe in organized religion. The idea that God has all of his children (us) and he would like for them to choose different ways in which they believe in him, have different views about what he has accomplished, and some that believe in Jesus- others who do not. These are all huge reasons. Each different organized, titled religion has very different beliefs on what God has or has not accomplished and how important he should be in their lives. I find it very hard to wrap my head around that fact that any "father" would want his "children" to categorize themselves, their love for him, and their beliefs on what his accomplishments mean in the grand scheme of life. The kicker though is that certain religions despise other religions. I had a Christian Reformed friend in high school. She was not allowed to date or marry a Catholic- and it was frowned upon to even be friends with one. Huh? In my book- NO father wants that for his children. I can just imagine my father saying "Erica, you and Kayla can be friends, but Cecily- no you aren't allowed to socialize together. Kayla- you're good though you can socialize with both of your sisters."
In certain religions it is permissible to have divorces and abortions- in others you are scorned for it. It really makes no damn sense to me. That same friend from high school I mentioned earlier- I remember vividly her father saying to me one day after he picked us up from choir practice "Just because your mother is DIVORCED doesn't mean I can cart you all around town." Now besides the fact that her parents never drove us anywhere (no really that was their first time pitching in- even though my mother was divorced *shudder* she still did her fair share plus theirs) I had never encountered anyone hate someone because their marriage had failed. I'd like to send that man a postcard announcing that I had an abortion last week just to see how he'd handle that news. You would have thought my mother had 6 legs and tentacles being that she was divorced. I ponder on what wonderfulness would come out of his mouth regarding those who have had abortions. Really, I am sure it would be equally as ignorant.
Now, before you go thinking I am some Satan devil worshiper- I am extremely spiritual. I was baptized and raised Presbyterian- whatever that means I have no idea. I do know that my mother was not kicked out of the congregation when she got divorced the first time- nor the second time. No, in fact our pastor counseled her through both of those times. Which I find to be very easing. I pray every night, and in my tiny minuscule life, I have witnessed acts that are unexplainable by any other measure than there being a higher power, a God, up there looking out for me.
What am I looking for? I don't know. I do know that I am extremely liberal. That I believe in a God that doesn't judge us by our mistakes and our faults- but one that supports us no matter what decisions we make or roads we turn down. I can name 2 very UGLY religions right now that do not abide by those rules. I would choose not to research t hem at all- but I feel the need to be impartial in this process. I feel the need to research all aspects of religions- so I can be educated- unlike many people who just choose a religion without exhausting all possibilities of choices and follow that religion's rules like a damn lemming.
How did this start? About 6 months ago I decided to very briefly research the word "Atheism." I ignorantly thought it to be people who not only did not believe in God- but people who believed in the devil or some crazy satanic creature. (See what ignorance does to a person) What I found was that Atheism in its true form represents a lot of my morals and values. I would like to research it in depth because it was extremely interesting. But, a cliff's notes version would be that Atheists do not believe in a higher power because they do not rely on someone to solve their problems. They feel that believing in a higher power means you aren't taking responsibilities for your actions and aren't creating your own path in life. And, regardless of your beliefs- it makes damn good sense. Here is an example of things I hear every day- "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" or "It's in God's hands now" or "I will pray to God for the answer." Nothing wrong with any of these scenarios- but you can see how in each and every one of them- the person at hand is not making a decision. They are merely relying on a higher power to fix it for them. In an Atheist's point of view- they are giving up. Initiative has been a huge lesson for me over the past few years. I've taught myself that if you want something, you need to become more self-aware and do whatever you can to make it happen. You can't rely on other people to get you out of the scenarios you've gotten yourself into. I'm not saying that I don't believe in God- but I can really see, and more importantly, respect the views of an Atheist now.
So, this is why I want to research different religions. The end result is not for me to become some holy-roller. I don't want to attend church every Sunday- I don't believe in that either. A person can just as easily repent, pray and profess their love to God in their home as they can a building that demands x amount of your yearly salary be donated to them (ICK AND DOUBLE ICK- that is DEFINATELY not what God is about to me!) I want to research them so I can educate myself. Perhaps I won't despise those 2 afor non-mentioned but still mentioned religions any longer. Perhaps I will find one and devour it whole. That would be brilliant and I would accept that graciously. Bottom line, everyone needs something to believe in. At least the process will help me to make sound, educated, rational decisions about religions and perhaps it will make me more open-minded. Which is always a plus in my book.
***Wednesday, July 29th Photo of the Day***
I know it is dark, but I never got the memo that Marty McFly and Doc Brown were living on my block AND -as an added bonus- that they were selling the Delorean time machine for $4,000.
In certain religions it is permissible to have divorces and abortions- in others you are scorned for it. It really makes no damn sense to me. That same friend from high school I mentioned earlier- I remember vividly her father saying to me one day after he picked us up from choir practice "Just because your mother is DIVORCED doesn't mean I can cart you all around town." Now besides the fact that her parents never drove us anywhere (no really that was their first time pitching in- even though my mother was divorced *shudder* she still did her fair share plus theirs) I had never encountered anyone hate someone because their marriage had failed. I'd like to send that man a postcard announcing that I had an abortion last week just to see how he'd handle that news. You would have thought my mother had 6 legs and tentacles being that she was divorced. I ponder on what wonderfulness would come out of his mouth regarding those who have had abortions. Really, I am sure it would be equally as ignorant.
Now, before you go thinking I am some Satan devil worshiper- I am extremely spiritual. I was baptized and raised Presbyterian- whatever that means I have no idea. I do know that my mother was not kicked out of the congregation when she got divorced the first time- nor the second time. No, in fact our pastor counseled her through both of those times. Which I find to be very easing. I pray every night, and in my tiny minuscule life, I have witnessed acts that are unexplainable by any other measure than there being a higher power, a God, up there looking out for me.
What am I looking for? I don't know. I do know that I am extremely liberal. That I believe in a God that doesn't judge us by our mistakes and our faults- but one that supports us no matter what decisions we make or roads we turn down. I can name 2 very UGLY religions right now that do not abide by those rules. I would choose not to research t hem at all- but I feel the need to be impartial in this process. I feel the need to research all aspects of religions- so I can be educated- unlike many people who just choose a religion without exhausting all possibilities of choices and follow that religion's rules like a damn lemming.
How did this start? About 6 months ago I decided to very briefly research the word "Atheism." I ignorantly thought it to be people who not only did not believe in God- but people who believed in the devil or some crazy satanic creature. (See what ignorance does to a person) What I found was that Atheism in its true form represents a lot of my morals and values. I would like to research it in depth because it was extremely interesting. But, a cliff's notes version would be that Atheists do not believe in a higher power because they do not rely on someone to solve their problems. They feel that believing in a higher power means you aren't taking responsibilities for your actions and aren't creating your own path in life. And, regardless of your beliefs- it makes damn good sense. Here is an example of things I hear every day- "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" or "It's in God's hands now" or "I will pray to God for the answer." Nothing wrong with any of these scenarios- but you can see how in each and every one of them- the person at hand is not making a decision. They are merely relying on a higher power to fix it for them. In an Atheist's point of view- they are giving up. Initiative has been a huge lesson for me over the past few years. I've taught myself that if you want something, you need to become more self-aware and do whatever you can to make it happen. You can't rely on other people to get you out of the scenarios you've gotten yourself into. I'm not saying that I don't believe in God- but I can really see, and more importantly, respect the views of an Atheist now.
So, this is why I want to research different religions. The end result is not for me to become some holy-roller. I don't want to attend church every Sunday- I don't believe in that either. A person can just as easily repent, pray and profess their love to God in their home as they can a building that demands x amount of your yearly salary be donated to them (ICK AND DOUBLE ICK- that is DEFINATELY not what God is about to me!) I want to research them so I can educate myself. Perhaps I won't despise those 2 afor non-mentioned but still mentioned religions any longer. Perhaps I will find one and devour it whole. That would be brilliant and I would accept that graciously. Bottom line, everyone needs something to believe in. At least the process will help me to make sound, educated, rational decisions about religions and perhaps it will make me more open-minded. Which is always a plus in my book.
***Wednesday, July 29th Photo of the Day***
I know it is dark, but I never got the memo that Marty McFly and Doc Brown were living on my block AND -as an added bonus- that they were selling the Delorean time machine for $4,000.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
The New and Improved "Thirty- One Two Things to Do Before I Turn Thirty
- Own a Pair of Manolo Blahnik or Jimmy Choo Shoes
- Take a Photograph Every Day For a Year
Be Single - By Choice- For at Least a Year- Take a Hot Air Balloon Ride
Take a Cross Country Trip Alone- Get a Massage
- Research Different Religions. Choose One to Believe In Whole-heart-edly.
Have a Drink That is "My Drink"- Take an Overseas Trip Requiring a Passport
- Visit Vegas for a Weekend Like a Normal Person
- Quit Smoking
- Learn to Swing Dance
- Get Mom's Engagement Ring From Dad Re-Set Into Something That Does Not Resemble 1980's Costume Jewelry
- Go on a Road Trip With No Pre-Determined Destination
Take Mom Out For An Expensive DinnerLive in a Big CityLive Alone- Buy a Kick-Ass Mattress
- Always Be There For Kayla and Cecily
- Become Better at Returning and Initiating Phone Calls to My Family and Friends
- Learn to Play Poker- and Beat Steve
- Start and Continue an Exercise Regimen For at Least 3 Months
- Become a Pescatarian For a Month
Sit Front Row at a Concert- Have Coffee with Alanis Morissette So I Can Express My Never Ending Gratitude
Learn Which Friends I Cannot Trust- and Not To Take it PersonallyFind a Signature ScentQuit a Job Without Having Another One Lined Up- Learn to Make Tamales
- Define Somewhere and Make it Home
- Continue Doing Whatever it is That Steve and I Are Doing to Maintain Our Nauseatingly Amazing Relationship
- Visit Alaska
Things I Removed:
7) Renovate a Room By Myself **** seeing as how I do not own a home, nor does it look like I will within the next two years in this market- this is simply not feasible.
13) Have the Makings of a Bar Inside the Confines of My Own Home, So When People Visit- Rest Assured- They Can Have Any Drink They Desire**** When you have little to no friends in the area in which you reside, and your friends from back home visit very infrequently- there truly is no reason to have a fully stocked bar in your home. Unless of course you and your boyfriend have a large desire to become alcoholics.
20) Build a Sandcastle and a Snowman**** I know I built a snowman at some point in my life, I do not remember the sand castle part- and really do not care.
23) Get the Tattoo I Want Covering My Lower Back**** You do not rush a tattoo. Especially one of this nature. There are a lot of things to get in order in my life before a tattoo of that caliber of meaning can be tattooed on my body. In due time- just not 2 years.
29) Spend $1,000 in One Phenomenal Evening**** I moved to Arizona to get on my feet and figure some junk out. One thing I learned is not to spend money like a damn fool. And when I think about it, I most likely already did this more than once in my lifetime.
30) Make Arizona Home**** The longer I live here, the less I want Arizona to be home. Arizona will NEVER be home.
Monday's Photo of the Day
7/28/08
I spotted this little gem on our way into our subdivision last night. It made me think that perhaps THIS should have been on this list...."Own my very own hot dog cart AND pull it from the back of my vehicle." I told Steve if he loved me, he would put the car in park, get out at the stop light and go purchase me a Famous Jay's Hot Doggy Dog. Apparantly he doesn't love me that much.
In light of recent events that have taken place, I have decided there are a few things on my list that aren't that important to me. More like, I could care less if I actually completed them- and what's the point in having a list if I don't want to complete all of the items? I will be making some updates later. Not to worry- everything I change on the list will be items that I have thought very long and hard about. There will be no further changes from this point. Otherwise, how could I call it a list? What, if I kept changing it on a whim and all. :)
Monday, July 28, 2008
Weekend Photos of the Day
Photo of the Day- Saturday July 26th:Do not ever make a recipe that includes eggs, creamed corn, cheese, hot sauce, cumin and oregano. I should have known better when I read it. Cumin and eggs? Yeah- not so much.
Photo of the Day- Sunday July 27th:
Anna Belle's feet smell like cornchips.
Friday, July 25, 2008
5. Take A Cross Country Road Trip Alone
What was going through my head April-June of 2007? If you knew me, you probably asked yourself this question, a lot. I was at a cross-roads. A "quarter life-crisis" I choose to call it. I have always been known as the girl who was completely unpredictable, compulsive, and one to not think things through before making a sound decision. When I talk to people closest to me and say "Guess What!?!" I am more often than not greeted with "It's hard telling
..." Which is fine with me. Many people- even those closest to me- think I am flighty. That's fine too, they just aren't open-minded enough or courageous enough to think outside the box. To question the life they have grown accustomed to would shake them to their core, and putting a big plan into action that may or may not prove to solve that crisis- to them is simply terrifying. To put it mildly, I feel to the depth of my bones that those people who have questioned my sanity, or referred to me as flighty, or held conversations about me while rolling their eyes lead very sad lives. Sure, I've made impulsive, wreckless, ridiculously insane decisions at the drop of a hat- and actually acted on them. But ya know what? Those decisions- the ones I put little thought into and just jumped in head first- those are the decisions that have changed my life drastically. For the better. And those same decisions make me who I am. 
I found myself in those two months of 2007 very unhappy. Unsettled, no sense of direction- other than heading down the path everyone else around me had already chosen for themselves- and seemed none to happy with. I was working for the company I had already devoted 5 1/2 very long years of my life to in college, and living at home with mom to save up money. For what? I have no idea. I never managed to save any. Instead, I had ridiculous parties every weekend where we all woke up blindingly drunk and only had photographs from my digital camera to remind us of what the previous evening entailed. Sure it was fun- hell how could it not be? But I was past all of it. It got old- really old.
Steve and I had started talking again in March. Here was this guy who lived at home with his mom because he lost his job and had gotten kicked out of his apartment because his roommate was engaged, and rather than finding another job immediately and a "livable" apartment that he knew he would be unhappy with, he chose to play poker. Something he loved, and was good at. I could tell immediately that very few people supported this aspect of his life. I was absolutely, completely inspired by it. Here was a man (FINALLY) who refused to just play the cards that were dealt to him (no pun intended) refused to SETTLE- and refused to suck it up and go get another shitty, mind-numbingly boring job with no future- like society says he should. Instead, he was going to follow his dream. A dream most people scoffed at and most people labeled him negatively for. Although this was probably the beginning of the best relationship I had entered in a very long time, he spoke endlessly of how he wanted to move to Vegas, so he could play professionally. I think we were both in the same place- but were so engrossed with our own situations- we couldn't focus on this incredible thing we had.
We took a very spontaneous weekend road trip to Memphis together, and he asked me again to go with him to Vegas. He had asked prior to this, but we were drunk and I laughed it off. This time we were sober. When he asked I sat there for a while and then the word vomit came. All these phrases and sayings and completely-un-Erica things came out of my mouth. "I can't go to Vegas. I have a job in Indiana. I can't leave my friends and family. Where would we live? We have no money to get out there." It wasn't brought up again. But rest assured the rest of the weekend my words haunted me to my core.
My grade school friend Joanna moved out here after our freshman year. I had visited twice- both times extremely underage and extremely unable to really experience Arizona in any way to say I actively wanted to live there. She told me that if I wanted to come out here she had a spare room, and I was welcome to it till I got my feet on the ground. Which, if you've ever moved cross country without a job and only $1200 in your bank account- that is a very enticing offer. So, I sent resumes out to Phoenix. Low and behold the very next day I received phone calls left and right. Phoenix it was. I find it important to point out that I made this decision and acted upon it only 2 weeks later- no real thought put into it at all. Because, we all know that "real" thought encompasses all those excuses I mentioned before.
I left for Phoenix the Monday after the party. I packed everything I owned of importance (SO EFFING HARD!) into my hatchback Focus, put Mork in the passenger seat and left. I cried all the way through Nebraska. Sobbed, rather. My best friend Kt made me some mixed Cd's which didn't help much either. Cd's that I will keep till the day I die- and pass down to someone of great importance- that is how much they mean to me after this journey. I cried for everything I was leaving, for how scared I was at what I had chosen to do- but couldn't turn back now, and because I felt so utterly alone. If you've ever driven from Indiana to Nebraska, you can attest to the fact that the lack of scenery on this part of my drive was probably not helping my cause. I got a ticket in Nebraska and that snapped me out of my crying jag. It was smooth sailing till I hit Colorado. It was dark, and I knew I wanted to drive through the mountains to see everything, plus I was exhausted and afraid of hitting deer. I stopped at a hotel and stayed there with
Mork. He was such a huge part of that journey. If I hadn't had some sort of familiar face or some warm body with me in that hotel room that night, I may not have made it.
The next morning was much better, I was excited again. The drive through Colorado was absolutely stunning. Patrick gave me directions through the mountains- thank you thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. I drove through Vail, drove up to ski posts, stopped at random gas stations and stores. People asked me about my Indiana plates- people honked and waved. I would get excited for a car to pass me to see how far they had driven from. Were they on the same journey as me? I felt so effing free. I was literally talking to myself in the car. "I can go here! I could just decide to go that way and no one can stop me! I don't have to go to Arizona- I could make a left turn here and no one can say no!" The drive that second day was like 20 years of therapy in 15 hours. I felt electric with energy. I was excited for my new journey. I couldn't understand why more people didn't do this. And I knew if they knew what I knew- that this was sublimely amazing- they all would. If there was some way to express this over joyous feeling to them- they would all do it.
..." Which is fine with me. Many people- even those closest to me- think I am flighty. That's fine too, they just aren't open-minded enough or courageous enough to think outside the box. To question the life they have grown accustomed to would shake them to their core, and putting a big plan into action that may or may not prove to solve that crisis- to them is simply terrifying. To put it mildly, I feel to the depth of my bones that those people who have questioned my sanity, or referred to me as flighty, or held conversations about me while rolling their eyes lead very sad lives. Sure, I've made impulsive, wreckless, ridiculously insane decisions at the drop of a hat- and actually acted on them. But ya know what? Those decisions- the ones I put little thought into and just jumped in head first- those are the decisions that have changed my life drastically. For the better. And those same decisions make me who I am. 
I found myself in those two months of 2007 very unhappy. Unsettled, no sense of direction- other than heading down the path everyone else around me had already chosen for themselves- and seemed none to happy with. I was working for the company I had already devoted 5 1/2 very long years of my life to in college, and living at home with mom to save up money. For what? I have no idea. I never managed to save any. Instead, I had ridiculous parties every weekend where we all woke up blindingly drunk and only had photographs from my digital camera to remind us of what the previous evening entailed. Sure it was fun- hell how could it not be? But I was past all of it. It got old- really old.
Steve and I had started talking again in March. Here was this guy who lived at home with his mom because he lost his job and had gotten kicked out of his apartment because his roommate was engaged, and rather than finding another job immediately and a "livable" apartment that he knew he would be unhappy with, he chose to play poker. Something he loved, and was good at. I could tell immediately that very few people supported this aspect of his life. I was absolutely, completely inspired by it. Here was a man (FINALLY) who refused to just play the cards that were dealt to him (no pun intended) refused to SETTLE- and refused to suck it up and go get another shitty, mind-numbingly boring job with no future- like society says he should. Instead, he was going to follow his dream. A dream most people scoffed at and most people labeled him negatively for. Although this was probably the beginning of the best relationship I had entered in a very long time, he spoke endlessly of how he wanted to move to Vegas, so he could play professionally. I think we were both in the same place- but were so engrossed with our own situations- we couldn't focus on this incredible thing we had.
We took a very spontaneous weekend road trip to Memphis together, and he asked me again to go with him to Vegas. He had asked prior to this, but we were drunk and I laughed it off. This time we were sober. When he asked I sat there for a while and then the word vomit came. All these phrases and sayings and completely-un-Erica things came out of my mouth. "I can't go to Vegas. I have a job in Indiana. I can't leave my friends and family. Where would we live? We have no money to get out there." It wasn't brought up again. But rest assured the rest of the weekend my words haunted me to my core.When we got back home, I found I was overwhelmed with all of this. I kept thinking, "Why can't I go?" The bottom line came to, I had no desire to go to Vegas. My Dad and his side of the family moved out there when I was a baby, I spent my summers and occasional Christmas's out there- but I knew that I didn't have any desire to live in Vegas other than my family. I knew that moving there would be easy because I had them as a crutch- and the moving to an entirely new place minus any sense of crutch was becoming all too appealing. I also knew that if I moved there, it would be solely for him- and that was unacceptable. So I sat down and started sending my resume out to every state I could imagine myself living in and made the executive decision to move wherever the first job interview call came from.
My grade school friend Joanna moved out here after our freshman year. I had visited twice- both times extremely underage and extremely unable to really experience Arizona in any way to say I actively wanted to live there. She told me that if I wanted to come out here she had a spare room, and I was welcome to it till I got my feet on the ground. Which, if you've ever moved cross country without a job and only $1200 in your bank account- that is a very enticing offer. So, I sent resumes out to Phoenix. Low and behold the very next day I received phone calls left and right. Phoenix it was. I find it important to point out that I made this decision and acted upon it only 2 weeks later- no real thought put into it at all. Because, we all know that "real" thought encompasses all those excuses I mentioned before.
My going away party was one of the most amazing nights ever- friends from every stage of my life were there. At the highest point, there were 25-30 some people in my backyard. It was saddening to know I was leaving all these people I cared so very much about, humbling to know I had touched their lives enough in some way to come and wish me well, and extremely exciting to think I would be half as lucky to meet friends like these on my next journey.
I left for Phoenix the Monday after the party. I packed everything I owned of importance (SO EFFING HARD!) into my hatchback Focus, put Mork in the passenger seat and left. I cried all the way through Nebraska. Sobbed, rather. My best friend Kt made me some mixed Cd's which didn't help much either. Cd's that I will keep till the day I die- and pass down to someone of great importance- that is how much they mean to me after this journey. I cried for everything I was leaving, for how scared I was at what I had chosen to do- but couldn't turn back now, and because I felt so utterly alone. If you've ever driven from Indiana to Nebraska, you can attest to the fact that the lack of scenery on this part of my drive was probably not helping my cause. I got a ticket in Nebraska and that snapped me out of my crying jag. It was smooth sailing till I hit Colorado. It was dark, and I knew I wanted to drive through the mountains to see everything, plus I was exhausted and afraid of hitting deer. I stopped at a hotel and stayed there with
Mork. He was such a huge part of that journey. If I hadn't had some sort of familiar face or some warm body with me in that hotel room that night, I may not have made it.The next morning was much better, I was excited again. The drive through Colorado was absolutely stunning. Patrick gave me directions through the mountains- thank you thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. I drove through Vail, drove up to ski posts, stopped at random gas stations and stores. People asked me about my Indiana plates- people honked and waved. I would get excited for a car to pass me to see how far they had driven from. Were they on the same journey as me? I felt so effing free. I was literally talking to myself in the car. "I can go here! I could just decide to go that way and no one can stop me! I don't have to go to Arizona- I could make a left turn here and no one can say no!" The drive that second day was like 20 years of therapy in 15 hours. I felt electric with energy. I was excited for my new journey. I couldn't understand why more people didn't do this. And I knew if they knew what I knew- that this was sublimely amazing- they all would. If there was some way to express this over joyous feeling to them- they would all do it.
Had I taken that trip with anyone else- it never would have been the experience that it was. It would have been great- but not nearly grand. It would have been fun- but not nearly brilliant. It was terrifying to do that on my own- I was 
utterly terrified. (I won't get into the crying jag again once I entered Arizona and read all the expressway signs. Wondering aloud to myself again what exactly I had done) But, when it was all said and done, I felt like I had accomplished something on a really grand scale. And I wanted to do it again. I know now that there is no fear. I did it once- I could do it again tomorrow. I urge you to take a trip cross country- anywhere- any destination. You will be amazed at how it will change you. This is one of the many ways in which Steve has changed my life, had it not been for him- I don't know that I ever would have had the courage- or the brilliance- to put this plan into action. And for those of you who supported me 100% regardless of your real feelings- that I would fail miserably- thank you from the bottom of my heart.
utterly terrified. (I won't get into the crying jag again once I entered Arizona and read all the expressway signs. Wondering aloud to myself again what exactly I had done) But, when it was all said and done, I felt like I had accomplished something on a really grand scale. And I wanted to do it again. I know now that there is no fear. I did it once- I could do it again tomorrow. I urge you to take a trip cross country- anywhere- any destination. You will be amazed at how it will change you. This is one of the many ways in which Steve has changed my life, had it not been for him- I don't know that I ever would have had the courage- or the brilliance- to put this plan into action. And for those of you who supported me 100% regardless of your real feelings- that I would fail miserably- thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
# 22. Start and Continue an Exercise Regimen for 3 Months
Today's blog is brought to you by the letter "c." That's so horribly lame- but this is how my brain works. Let me start somewhere that will make some sense to a reader who does not have my brain inside their head. Steve and I carpool to work on the days that I work from the office, and while he is in training. Once he is done he will be working from home- which is beside the point other than it relieves me to know we will no longer be spending $650 a month on gas and the $60 getting my oil changed every month. I get out much earlier than he does- and since Buckeye is ever so far from Phoenix, I spend my afternoons after work at Joanna's house till he gets off. For those of you who do not know Joanna, she is my only friend here in Arizona- and I have known her for the better part of my life.
I arrived at Joanna's today and went to her fridge to get some water and low and behold the devil incarnate was sitting amongst her shelves. Apparently Joanna went shopping and the devil jumped into her cart and insisted upon being purchased and brought back to reside for a short while in her refrigerator. I'll give you a while to let that absorb.
I am officially beginning #22 Start and Continue an Exercise Regimen for 3 Months -tomorrow. Along with this- but not mentioned on the list- I have started Weight Watchers for the 800 million gabillionth time. It works- I am just a pansy and have never been able to stick with it long enough to see results since the first time I did it a few years back.
If you are not familiar with Weight Watchers or how it works- there is a point system. I love points systems- they are so fun and very official sounding. Yet, the Weight Watchers Points system SUCKS BALLS. Some days it is easy as hell- others there are not enough points on earth for me to consume. You basically get a set amount of points to eat a day- and a handy calculator to figure out what every piece of food you put into that cavernous hole of a thing we refer to as a mouth- amounts to.
I did very well yesterday- my first WW day. Today, has gone well. I had a lunch with my co-workers, but since I work for the State- I also work with a bunch of hippies who only consume foods with words like "organic, " "unprocessed," "gluten free," and "raw" attached to them. Suffice it to say, my lunch meeting was VERY low in points.
Back to the devil in Joanna's refrigerator. There, on her second shelf, staring me in the face was a 44.7 ounce TUB-O-CREAM-PUFFS. 86 total in count. I feel it necessary to point out that I did not hand count them- as those who know me would never put past me- the fine makers of the "Best of Europe Imported from Holland" Cream Puffs took the liberty of doing that for me already. My first initial reaction was, "There is no way they are open." Joanna does not purchase foods like these, she must be having a party or donating food to charity or something. I approached it as one would a spider on the wall. I shook it and the lid just effing fell off. There inside were the 86 cream puffs "made with fresh dairy cream" (thank ass clown as if they already weren't enticing enough) staring at me in my WW Points counting, impending # 22 on my list exercise regimen face.
Surely I could just eat one right? Here's one for ya! Nutrition Facts- Serving Size 6 puffs (yeah right - who buys a tub of cream puffs intending to just eat 6- don't even PRETEND that you could) 290 Calories, 150 Fat Calories, and 16 g of Fat. For all of you non-Weight Watchers out there- that equivilates to 7 Points. At 24 Points per day that is a whole effing lot of Points to part with.
The cream puffs are currently lurking in the refrigerator- with only the hinged door to protect me from them. I did not eat even one- (I am so proud) because I have a date with Billy Blanks tomorrow and I'd rather save those 7 Points for a slice of Gino's deep dish pizza that Stefanie so kindly sent me for my birthday. Now THAT is a true friend. Anyone who realizes the perils of losing Chicago deep dish pizza- and cares enough about your well being and preservation of your taste buds to send you a $75 pizza- should hold a very special place in your heart.
The moral of this story....my photo of the day- EFF YOU CREAM PUFFS!
I arrived at Joanna's today and went to her fridge to get some water and low and behold the devil incarnate was sitting amongst her shelves. Apparently Joanna went shopping and the devil jumped into her cart and insisted upon being purchased and brought back to reside for a short while in her refrigerator. I'll give you a while to let that absorb.
I am officially beginning #22 Start and Continue an Exercise Regimen for 3 Months -tomorrow. Along with this- but not mentioned on the list- I have started Weight Watchers for the 800 million gabillionth time. It works- I am just a pansy and have never been able to stick with it long enough to see results since the first time I did it a few years back.
If you are not familiar with Weight Watchers or how it works- there is a point system. I love points systems- they are so fun and very official sounding. Yet, the Weight Watchers Points system SUCKS BALLS. Some days it is easy as hell- others there are not enough points on earth for me to consume. You basically get a set amount of points to eat a day- and a handy calculator to figure out what every piece of food you put into that cavernous hole of a thing we refer to as a mouth- amounts to.
I did very well yesterday- my first WW day. Today, has gone well. I had a lunch with my co-workers, but since I work for the State- I also work with a bunch of hippies who only consume foods with words like "organic, " "unprocessed," "gluten free," and "raw" attached to them. Suffice it to say, my lunch meeting was VERY low in points.
Back to the devil in Joanna's refrigerator. There, on her second shelf, staring me in the face was a 44.7 ounce TUB-O-CREAM-PUFFS. 86 total in count. I feel it necessary to point out that I did not hand count them- as those who know me would never put past me- the fine makers of the "Best of Europe Imported from Holland" Cream Puffs took the liberty of doing that for me already. My first initial reaction was, "There is no way they are open." Joanna does not purchase foods like these, she must be having a party or donating food to charity or something. I approached it as one would a spider on the wall. I shook it and the lid just effing fell off. There inside were the 86 cream puffs "made with fresh dairy cream" (thank ass clown as if they already weren't enticing enough) staring at me in my WW Points counting, impending # 22 on my list exercise regimen face.
Surely I could just eat one right? Here's one for ya! Nutrition Facts- Serving Size 6 puffs (yeah right - who buys a tub of cream puffs intending to just eat 6- don't even PRETEND that you could) 290 Calories, 150 Fat Calories, and 16 g of Fat. For all of you non-Weight Watchers out there- that equivilates to 7 Points. At 24 Points per day that is a whole effing lot of Points to part with.
The cream puffs are currently lurking in the refrigerator- with only the hinged door to protect me from them. I did not eat even one- (I am so proud) because I have a date with Billy Blanks tomorrow and I'd rather save those 7 Points for a slice of Gino's deep dish pizza that Stefanie so kindly sent me for my birthday. Now THAT is a true friend. Anyone who realizes the perils of losing Chicago deep dish pizza- and cares enough about your well being and preservation of your taste buds to send you a $75 pizza- should hold a very special place in your heart.
The moral of this story....my photo of the day- EFF YOU CREAM PUFFS!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
3. Be Single By Choice For At Least a Year
Alright, alright- so I have blogged a lot today. Perhaps it is my need to take a break from the marketing research that is my job. Perhaps it is also the mere fact that I might as well take advantage of this impulsive bug that has pushed my procrastination out of the way for this short period of time. Either way I feel compelled to write about 3. Be Single- By Choice- For At Least a Year
In your twenties, being single can be down right scary. Especially if you come from Northwest Indiana. Where it is not only socially acceptable- but also expected of you- to have the job of your dreams, be married, have children, own a home and a mini van by the lowly age of 27. I will NEVER forget the Christmas I attended a very close friend from college's Christmas party. Our group was inseparable during those years- and like many groups- had grown apart shortly there after. I managed to keep in touch with them all, but never like it once was. *tear*
Anyway, I was single, living in the city, and had what I thought at the time was a decent job. I felt like I had entered the twighlight zone. I was LITERALLY the only non-coupled, childless person in the room. Seriously, I do not exaggerate. I was 25-26 at the time and I remember sitting there looking at everything, almost like I was watching it from a distance. A conversation I had with a guy I used to know went like this:
guy: "So, what are you doing now?"
me: "I'm living in the city, still working for IJL"
guy: "Are you married yet?"
me: "Nope."
guy: "Dating anyone?"
me: "Nope."
guy: (extremely odd look on his face) "What do you do then?!"
No seriously, that was the conversation. If you are from where I grew up- it makes all too much sense. Sad, but true.
I decided to be single for at least a year shortly into my second move back to the city. It was my condo on Clark & Division- the scene for some of my favorite memories, and arguably my favorite year of life. I had gone through what every girl my age had- an onslaught of shitty, shitty relationships. Shitty is an understatement people.
I had been single for a period of time, when I remembered what another good friend from college had once said to me. She was my roommate and was going through a bad breakup. When I returned home from work one evening, she came bounding out of her room and said "I'm going to be single for at least 3 months!" I remember thinking it would be tough for her- yes I thought that- but that it was probably the best idea she ever had. This girl holds a really special place in my heart for teaching me SO very much about relationships- on her dime. She messed up a lot and I learned from her mistakes. Perhaps it was our large age difference- her 28 years to my 21 years. She was also the girl who inadvertently slapped me back to my senses when I was engaged and actually thinking of going through with marriage my Sophomore year of College- at the age of 18. I owe her more thanks than she even knows.
Her words stuck out in my head- and you know those magical moments in time, where you get this beyond brilliant idea and it just makes sense? It pops into your head and you realize "THIS IS THE ANSWER TO ALL MY PROBLEMS!" It just made sense to me. So I did it. I made the choice and I did it. I am sure that my job at the time didn't do much to help- more on that in another blog- but I had the right frame of mind. I was sick and tired of putting everything I had into one failed relationship after another. I was sick and tired of pretending to like things I didn't, putting my needs second, and helping someone else through their problems and leaving mine lie in a heap on the floor.
It was exhilarating. Scary? Yes. Simply because most of my good friends from high school were running off and getting hitched and procreating. Buying houses when all I could afford was Ramen noodles and tubs of frosting from the Jewel "10 for $10" Bargain wall. But, I learned more about myself than I ever knew prior to that. I also met some of the most FANTASTIC friends that year in the city. That apartment was constantly filled with life- all 450 some odd square feet of it. Waking up and drinking pots of coffee till 4pm while lying in my stale bar smell and pajamas watching reruns of Laguna Beach was simply fabulous. Not shaving my legs was brilliant. Ignoring guys that had tired, stale, RIDICULOUS, pick up lines was totally freeing. Choosing what to do because I, and only I, wanted to do it was breathtakingly freeing.
My year of choosing to be single all too quickly turned into 2- and then another dear, dear friend allowed me to open my eyes to see I had done a complete 360 degree turn to the town of "Bitter and Cynical." I was quickly en route to becoming the crazy cat-lady, minus the horrid cats plus the dogs. One more month and I would have been the crazy old lady on the block who sits on her lawn in a green mesh chair wearing a moo-moo and curlers in her hair, holding the hose with promises of spraying neighborhood kids who touched her property. Only if you knew me at that stage in my life, did you realize I had taken the "choosing to be single" like a drug. Everything in moderation is really key here. I had over-dosed and it was time to start letting people in. And, I did- thanks to the help of some very amazing people- who already know their role in that stage of my life, a lot of tears, and a lot of trust I never knew I had.
All in all, I don't regret any of it. It allowed me to reflect on previous relationships to see where I was at fault (not that!), learn who I was and what I was and was not willing to compromise for anyone, put my friends and family first in my life, and really get to know who Erica was.
I won't say I didn't have my setbacks in years after that. But I will always think VERY fondly back to that tiny apartment, the friends I held so dear, the memories I made, and the lessons I taught myself. Which, in hindsight, is the best lesson of all.
In your twenties, being single can be down right scary. Especially if you come from Northwest Indiana. Where it is not only socially acceptable- but also expected of you- to have the job of your dreams, be married, have children, own a home and a mini van by the lowly age of 27. I will NEVER forget the Christmas I attended a very close friend from college's Christmas party. Our group was inseparable during those years- and like many groups- had grown apart shortly there after. I managed to keep in touch with them all, but never like it once was. *tear*
Anyway, I was single, living in the city, and had what I thought at the time was a decent job. I felt like I had entered the twighlight zone. I was LITERALLY the only non-coupled, childless person in the room. Seriously, I do not exaggerate. I was 25-26 at the time and I remember sitting there looking at everything, almost like I was watching it from a distance. A conversation I had with a guy I used to know went like this:
guy: "So, what are you doing now?"
me: "I'm living in the city, still working for IJL"
guy: "Are you married yet?"
me: "Nope."
guy: "Dating anyone?"
me: "Nope."
guy: (extremely odd look on his face) "What do you do then?!"
No seriously, that was the conversation. If you are from where I grew up- it makes all too much sense. Sad, but true.
I decided to be single for at least a year shortly into my second move back to the city. It was my condo on Clark & Division- the scene for some of my favorite memories, and arguably my favorite year of life. I had gone through what every girl my age had- an onslaught of shitty, shitty relationships. Shitty is an understatement people.
I had been single for a period of time, when I remembered what another good friend from college had once said to me. She was my roommate and was going through a bad breakup. When I returned home from work one evening, she came bounding out of her room and said "I'm going to be single for at least 3 months!" I remember thinking it would be tough for her- yes I thought that- but that it was probably the best idea she ever had. This girl holds a really special place in my heart for teaching me SO very much about relationships- on her dime. She messed up a lot and I learned from her mistakes. Perhaps it was our large age difference- her 28 years to my 21 years. She was also the girl who inadvertently slapped me back to my senses when I was engaged and actually thinking of going through with marriage my Sophomore year of College- at the age of 18. I owe her more thanks than she even knows.
Her words stuck out in my head- and you know those magical moments in time, where you get this beyond brilliant idea and it just makes sense? It pops into your head and you realize "THIS IS THE ANSWER TO ALL MY PROBLEMS!" It just made sense to me. So I did it. I made the choice and I did it. I am sure that my job at the time didn't do much to help- more on that in another blog- but I had the right frame of mind. I was sick and tired of putting everything I had into one failed relationship after another. I was sick and tired of pretending to like things I didn't, putting my needs second, and helping someone else through their problems and leaving mine lie in a heap on the floor.
It was exhilarating. Scary? Yes. Simply because most of my good friends from high school were running off and getting hitched and procreating. Buying houses when all I could afford was Ramen noodles and tubs of frosting from the Jewel "10 for $10" Bargain wall. But, I learned more about myself than I ever knew prior to that. I also met some of the most FANTASTIC friends that year in the city. That apartment was constantly filled with life- all 450 some odd square feet of it. Waking up and drinking pots of coffee till 4pm while lying in my stale bar smell and pajamas watching reruns of Laguna Beach was simply fabulous. Not shaving my legs was brilliant. Ignoring guys that had tired, stale, RIDICULOUS, pick up lines was totally freeing. Choosing what to do because I, and only I, wanted to do it was breathtakingly freeing.
My year of choosing to be single all too quickly turned into 2- and then another dear, dear friend allowed me to open my eyes to see I had done a complete 360 degree turn to the town of "Bitter and Cynical." I was quickly en route to becoming the crazy cat-lady, minus the horrid cats plus the dogs. One more month and I would have been the crazy old lady on the block who sits on her lawn in a green mesh chair wearing a moo-moo and curlers in her hair, holding the hose with promises of spraying neighborhood kids who touched her property. Only if you knew me at that stage in my life, did you realize I had taken the "choosing to be single" like a drug. Everything in moderation is really key here. I had over-dosed and it was time to start letting people in. And, I did- thanks to the help of some very amazing people- who already know their role in that stage of my life, a lot of tears, and a lot of trust I never knew I had.
All in all, I don't regret any of it. It allowed me to reflect on previous relationships to see where I was at fault (not that!), learn who I was and what I was and was not willing to compromise for anyone, put my friends and family first in my life, and really get to know who Erica was.
I won't say I didn't have my setbacks in years after that. But I will always think VERY fondly back to that tiny apartment, the friends I held so dear, the memories I made, and the lessons I taught myself. Which, in hindsight, is the best lesson of all.
The Rules
Here it goes...The rules of this little or big -whichever you prefer- project. I will blog daily and either speak of tasks on the list I am currently attempting to complete, or tell you about some that have been crossed off already. No particular order. Of course, there are tasks on this list that will be ongoing. They will receive their own "shout outs" - if you will- throughout the entire blog.
In regards to #2- Take a Photograph Everyday for a Year- I will post one photo on every blog for that day and speak of it in either length or brevity- whichever I desire. Why? Because this is my project and I decide dammit. I am hoping that #2 in this task will allow me to look back on this project- or year of my life with a smile on my face. Regardless of the relevance of the photo, I hope it will hold dear in my heart some small moment in time.
On that note-
My dog Anna Belle has the fanciest natural mohawk you could ever imagine. It really is spectacular. We have toyed with the idea of dying it different shades. If Anna Belle could talk, I wonder which shade she would choose....
In regards to #2- Take a Photograph Everyday for a Year- I will post one photo on every blog for that day and speak of it in either length or brevity- whichever I desire. Why? Because this is my project and I decide dammit. I am hoping that #2 in this task will allow me to look back on this project- or year of my life with a smile on my face. Regardless of the relevance of the photo, I hope it will hold dear in my heart some small moment in time.
On that note-
My dog Anna Belle has the fanciest natural mohawk you could ever imagine. It really is spectacular. We have toyed with the idea of dying it different shades. If Anna Belle could talk, I wonder which shade she would choose....
The List...Plus One for Good Measure.
Thirty- One -Two Things To Do Before I Turn Thirty
- Own a Pair of Manolo Blahnik or Jimmy Choo Shoes
- Take Photograph Every Day for a Year
Be Single- By Choice- For at least a Year- Take a Hot Air Balloon Ride
Take a Cross Country Road Trip Alone- Get a Massage
- Renovate a Room By Myself
Have a Drink That is "My Drink"- Take an Overseas Trip Requiring a Passport
- Visit Vegas for a Weekend Like a Normal Person
- Quit Smoking
- Learn to Swing Dance
- Have the Makings of a Bar Inside the Confines of My Own Home, So When People Visit- Rest Assured- They Can Have Any Drink They Desire
- Go on a Road trip with No Pre-determined Destination
Take Mom out for a Very Expensive DinnerLive in a Big CityLive Alone- Buy a Kick-Ass Mattress
- Always Be There for Kayla and Cecily
- Build a Sandcastle and a Snowman
- Learn to Play Poker- and Beat Steve
- Start and Continue an Exercise Regimen for 3 Months
- Get the Tattoo I Want Covering My Lower Back
Sit Front Row at a Concert- Have Coffee with Alanis Morissette So I Can Express My Never-Ending Gratitude
Learn Which Friends I Cannot Trust, Do Not Take it PersonallyFind a Signature ScentQuit a Job Without Having Another One Lined Up- Spend $1,000 in One Phenomenal Evening
- Make Arizona Home
- Continue Doing Whatever it is That Steve and I Are Doing to Maintain Our Nauseatingly Amazing Relationship
- Visit Alaska
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